Don’t Vote Tory

I really want to vent

About the UK Government

Responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands

And for the hardships brought on to tens of millions

You’ll always get a stupid Tory

Who will never know the full story

So out of touch with real world

They don’t understand you.

I mean, they can understand you in a way.

And while my lefty-snowflakeism might sound a little crazy.

If you’re

White

Overweight

A Conservatives voter

Alcoholic

Sexist

Racist

Homophobic

They will understand you completely.

But holy shit, if you’re a minority, they will dismiss you wholly.

Not-So-Priti Patel a little bit upset about protesters near her?

She wants the police to round them all up and take them to the nearest rubbish compacter.

Williamson rounding us all up and leading us back to school like lambs to the slaughter?

He doesn’t care, but that indifferent attitude would change if the COVID caught up with his daughter.

Self-serving, arrogant, bending democracy.

Can these truth-twisters get any worse?

De Pfeffel acts as a BTEC matriarch in all of this.

Racist to the bone.

Yet we elected him to the second-highest throne.

Homophobia, transphobia, sexism, hatred run deep within him and the Tories.

They don’t represent modern-day, progressive Britain, yet we still elect him and his cronies.

Why did you vote Tory?

Because Mum voted for them?

Because Kev the binman believes Mohammed the maxillofacial surgeon is going to steal his job?

Or, in the hastily painted words of Melania Trump:

“I really don’t care, do u?”

I plead with you on this rainy Thursday,

When it comes to election day,

It would make me very gay

If you didn’t vote Tory.